Category: Myths of Foster Care

Children have been referred into foster care more than 600 times this year in western Iowa alone.

They enter foster care through no fault of their own, and there is no one specific reason why children enter care in the first place. Many children have experienced abuse or neglect. Some enter foster care when their primary caregiver experiences major health issues or dies unexpectedly. Others have parents who love them, but are not equipped to raise their children in a happy, healthy environment.

Regardless, children who enter foster care come from all walks of life. They come from all cultures and ethnicities; they can be toddlers or teenagers; they can be an only child or part of a sibling group.

No matter their background, one thing is certain: all children need a loving home.

Children may enter foster care for different reasons, but each child has experienced the trauma of being removed from their home. To help them cope during this difficult time in their lives, Iowa foster families do everything in their power to maintain a sense of normalcy. That means helping children stay connected to their friends, churches, schools, and activities. It might also mean becoming educated about their culture and learning about their favorite foods, music, or traditions.

In short, we need a wide range of families from all cultures, ethnicities, and walks of life to ensure the perfect foster home exists for each child, no matter who they are.

Western Iowa has an immediate need for more foster families to provide safe, temporary homes for children in need – and yours could be the perfect fit!

November is National Adoption Month. At LSI Foster Care and Adoption, we’re busy celebrating and thanking the many families who are providing kids with loving forever homes.

This month, we’re also compelled to remember the hundreds of Iowa children currently in need of a temporary foster home – and to remember that foster care is not just an easy path to adoption. In Iowa, the goal of foster care is to safely reunify children with their family of origin whenever possible.

Children are shown to experience far less trauma when they are able to stay in their home and with their family of origin. That’s why organizations like LSI provide services to help families get back on track when they experience issues that could put them at risk of having their children removed.

When kids enter foster care, they experience the trauma of having to leave their home, school, friends, and family; as foster parents, it is our job to help them stay connected to their community and keep them comfortable whenever we are able.

In most cases, foster parents create strong relationships with the child’s birth parents and work together to help them build a healthier home for their child to return to. And in the rare instances where a child’s parents have their rights terminated, the Iowa Department of Human Services turns to family members or family friends to care for the child permanently before considering adoption by foster parents.

Adoption is a beautiful thing, but also always involves loss. One of our foster parents said it best: “For you to experience the beautiful gift of adoption, someone else had to experience the loss of a child.”

More children are entering foster care than ever before – hundreds in western Iowa alone –and it is crucial that we have enough foster families ready to answer the call and provide a safe, temporary place for children to thrive. We need foster parents who are committed to loving and caring for children while embracing the fact that these children will eventually return home. Foster care exists to reunify and to make families whole.

Children are placed in foster care through no fault of their own. Most children enter foster care when their birth parents are not able to care for them appropriately, which could be due to abuse, neglect, substance use, or mental health concerns.

For many Iowans unfamiliar with foster care, this might make birth parents sound like bad people – but we cannot allow ourselves to make these generalizations – there is always more to a person than their mistakes.

Birth parents are humans, just like you and me. They’ve made mistakes, and they’re facing the consequences: their children are removed from them. Many of them describe this as the worst pain they have ever experienced. Meanwhile, their children face the trauma of having to leave their schools, friends, favorite toys, and all the comfort of home.

Our goal is to support Iowa kids during their time in foster care and help safely reunify with their families when possible. But this means it is equally vital for foster families to be supporters for birth parents. Along with caring for the child, Iowa foster families are expected to work closely with their birth parents to help get them back on their feet.

In most cases, birth parents are doing difficult work to get back on the right path and prepare a safe, healthy environment for their children to return to. Many of LSI’s foster families build strong relationships with these birth parents that last long after their families are reunified. Because we all need someone in our corner, cheering us on during the darkest points in our lives, believing that we can be better and do better.

If you haven’t been exposed to foster care, you might think that the best thing for children is for them to be “rescued” from their bad environment and removed from their parents and their home permanently. But that’s not true.

Foster care isn’t a quick, easy avenue to adoption. It’s loving, temporary care for children while their parents receive the support they need to welcome them home.

Children typically enter foster care due to traumatic events like abuse or neglect. We take these events very seriously, and the safety of each child is our chief concern. Foster parents provide critical care to these children when they are no longer able to safely live in their homes.

Through it all, foster parents as tasked with remembering that the primary goal of foster care is reunification. The best thing for children is for them to be reunited with their family of origin, but only when it is safe to do so. Foster parents provide care and love to a child while their parents are receiving the help, support, and resources they need to welcome their child back into a happy, healthy home.

So far this year, western Iowa children have been referred into foster care more than 500 times. Our state has an urgent need for more families to open their hearts and homes to children in foster care. And an urgent need for caring people to collaborate with birth families, walking alongside them as they build a better home environment for their children, no matter what challenges they may be grappling with.

If you’ve ever considered fostering, now is the time. When you become a foster parent, you’re doing more than just caring for children. You’re building stronger Iowa families.

When families decide to become licensed foster parents, many choose to open their homes solely to younger children. And while these families are providing critical care to hundreds of the most vulnerable children in Iowa, this also makes it more difficult to find loving homes for a population often overlooked: teenagers.

It’s understandable that families might be scared to foster teens. It can be intimidating to care for an older child, but teenagers need just as much love and support as younger children.

In 2018, 204 western Iowa children age 13 and above were referred into foster care. They experienced trauma like abuse or neglect and needed a foster family to lean on during the most difficult time in their lives. But there were not always enough foster homes immediately available, and youth with no foster family are forced to live in a shelter until a suitable, safe home is found for them.

When teens in foster care turn 18, they face a whole new challenge: “aging out” of the system and losing access to many of the resources they depend on. For those who spend their teenage years in a shelter instead of with a foster family, this means they are entering adulthood with no home or support system to turn to for guidance as they navigate college or a first job. More than 23,000 children will age out of foster care in the U.S. every year, and they are at extreme risk of poverty and homelessness.

Teens in foster care need stability and safety, too: someone to teach them to drive, someone to help them practice for the SAT, someone to cheer them on as they walk across the stage at graduation.

Help us ensure that Iowa youth have the love and support they need to build happy, healthy futures. Consider becoming a foster parent to teens.

There are plenty of reasons you might talk yourself out of considering foster care.

“I don’t own a home.”
“I already have kids or pets.”
“I’m too busy.”
“I have a full-time job.”

Becoming a foster parent isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly. But you don’t need to wait until you have a specific kind of household to be ready to be a foster parent. And while we might spend years waiting for just the right opportunity to open our hearts and homes, there are children in our community waiting for a foster family now.

Children in foster care have experienced trauma in their young lives and need a temporary place where they can feel safe and encouraged. But there are not always enough foster homes immediately available, and children with no foster family must live in a shelter until a home is found for them.

You can make a difference by becoming a foster parent.

There is no “typical” foster family. Foster parents must be at least 21 years old, but they can be single, cohabitating, married, living in multi-generational family homes, and homes with or without biological children. They can be employed or stay-at-home parents. Foster parents are homeowners, renters, and pet owners. Foster parents are individuals of all ethnicities, all walks of life, and all sexual orientations. They’re people just like you and me.

Last year, western Iowa children were referred into foster care 940 times. If you’ve ever considered becoming a foster parent, now is the time. Iowa children are waiting.

When children are placed in foster care, their whole world is turned upside down.

They are forced to say goodbye to their family, their friends, and their school. The tangible, known pieces of their lives are ripped away from them – their childhood bedroom, their favorite toy or blanket, their pet.

Children in foster care have experienced physical or emotional trauma beyond what most of us can comprehend. Many of them have been abused or neglected. If there is no foster home immediately available, the instability continues and they must live in a shelter until a home is found for them.

And in the midst of all the chaos and confusion – when they are struggling to express their pain, fear, and frustration – they are often labeled as “bad kids” or “troubled.” As they start school in a new district, they experience whispers and stares. When they join a new sports team, they sometimes overhear a parent asking what they “did” to enter foster care.

The answer? Nothing.

Most children enter foster care through no fault of their own. They are not removed from their homes because of their bad behavior. They are not removed because they are delinquent, disruptive, or violent. They are not removed because their parents can’t handle them. They are removed from their homes because it was no longer safe for them to live with their family of origin.

Western Iowa children have already been referred into foster care more than 200 times this year and the need for more foster families is great. You can make a life-changing impact by becoming a foster parent.

Every foster parent will tell you that there are tough days. That one of the hardest parts is saying goodbye to a child who has been in your care.

When some families wonder if they could become foster parents, they may think, “I can’t foster children. I would get too attached.”

But every foster parent will also tell you that each tear shed while saying goodbye is worth it.

Getting attached is the perfect reason to become a foster parent. You’re supposed to get attached to children in your care.

Children in foster care need a compassionate adult to become attached to them during the most vulnerable time of their life. They need someone to sit at the dining room table and help them with algebra. They need someone to cook their favorite food and get to know their likes and dislikes. They need someone to be there for them when they wake up with nightmares, or when they can’t sleep at night.

When everything they have ever known is turned upside-down, children in foster care need someone to care enough to get attached.

Yes, it’s scary to think of saying goodbye to a child you’ve grown attached to. But consider what it would be like if you were four years old. Or ten. Or sixteen. And you had to say goodbye to your family, your friends, your bedroom, and your favorite toy.

And after all that, you were placed in a shelter because there simply weren’t enough foster homes in your town.

This year, western Iowa children have already been referred into foster care more than 200 times. Some were temporarily placed in shelters until a suitable foster home was found.

Entering foster care was never their choice. As adults, we get to choose. It is our responsibility to step up and, yes, even get attached. Because their wellbeing and safety matters more than our feelings.