Category: CAPP Blog

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello! I hope this blog finds you well, and I hope you are doing OK. I say that with the most sincerity. This blog looks a little different than my prior posts. I’m not going to offer five tips or tricks, and we are going to sit in something that does not feel good: grief. Over the last several months, we have experienced a new kind of grief. We are grieving lives that we had a few months ago, and grieving lives that may never look the same. This grief is so significant. For our entire lives, we have grown to know and understand our world, and it’s changing in ways we could have never predicted. Trouble sleeping? Lack of appetite or over-eating? Shortened fuse and easily agitated? Overall feeling of being flattened or that your battery needs recharged by 9 a.m.? Let’s put a name to the root of the problem – grief.

As I reflected on this grief, I kept finding myself recognizing the losses we can actually see, but also the losses that are out of sight and intangible. We have all experienced loss in one way or another during the COVID-19 pandemic. Let’s really lay out some of the tangible losses we can see day by day: job losses, school closings, restrictions of church and community physical gatherings, lack of social gatherings, and cancelling or postponing important events in life like weddings, concerts, and travel plans. Right along with that, we haven’t been able to have regular face-to-face interactions and physical touch from those outside our home. I’m an adult with many coping skills, but nothing compares to a hug from my mom when times are stressful. What’s more stressful than a worldwide pandemic? Let’s get real. This feels hard.

Now, let’s reflect on those losses that we cannot see, but certainly feel. Something I think we have all felt is a loss of control. Boy, there’s a whole bunch we have lost control over. Outside of that, we are experiencing a loss of predictability, safety, security, and for some (college kids, I’m thinking of you), we’ve lost independence. Outside of this, I’m imagining the grief if you or someone you know has contracted COVID-19 or those who have lost a loved one to the illness. I’m thinking of you, too.

Seeing all of our losses laid out like that feels overwhelming, defeating, and heavy. Can we now understand the power of this pandemic on our mental health? The stages of grief rarely follow a specific order, and we don’t all grieve the same way or experience all the stages. The stages of grief are shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. I know for me, I’ve experienced several of these over the last several months. And you know what? That’s OK. We are in the midst of a traumatic event, and I truly believe we are doing the best that we can with what we’ve got.

Grief is real. It’s really, really real. I challenge you to reflect on what you’re grieving right now, and validate yourself that it’s OK to feel that way. Then, I want you to reflect on three things you are going to think about differently once all of this is done. What are you most looking forward to? What will you value a little more? For me, it’s my mom’s hugs (sorry mom, so many coming your way). It’s community supporting community. It’s simply being with; being with my family, being with my friends, being with my coworkers, and being with my town. I’ll speak for myself, but I anticipate my outlook on life is going to be overflowing with gratitude and grace.

We are here with you and ready to support you in whatever ways you need. If you would like to talk with someone on our clinical team about your feelings of grief, please reach out to us. Visit LSIowa.org/therapy to learn more and call 888.457.4692 to get started.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT 

We’ve been quarantined long enough that introverts and extroverts alike are experiencing that cooped-up feeling. We’ve got cabin fever! I’ve compiled a list of 7 ideas to beat boredom.

1. Take a virtual class: Now is the time to put our learning caps on and learn about something we have never had the time to before. There are many, many online universities and websites that are offering free or discounted online learning options. This ranges from actual college courses to photography lessons to learning a new language. For me, I’ve got my eye on a vegetable gardening course that Oregon State University is offering for free.

2. Exercise: We all know exercise is good for the mind and body, and it can also be a great boredom buster. Luckily, many gyms are offering free exercise classes on their social media pages. Check out your local gym’s Facebook page to see if they are offering free classes. Two in my local area are offering this: the Spencer YMCA and Northwest Iowa Community College Lifelong Learning and Recreation Center. They offer yoga, aerobic, and strength training classes you can do in the comfort of your own home.

3. Arts and crafts: Anyone else miss the arts and crafts time we had while growing up? Now is a great time to revisit this. Grab a canvas and some paint and create a masterpiece! If you’re unsure what kind of craft appeals to you, do a general “crafts” search on Pinterest and let your mind run wild.

4. Stay connected: I think this has been a topic that has been tied into nearly all of my past blog posts. It’s SO important. It’s important for our overall mental health to continue to connect with our support system. Here are some really fun ways to do so. I mentioned a couple of blogs ago an app I’ve been using with my family. It’s called Houseparty. You can play games while video chatting with your family or friends. It’s a blast. Facetime, Skype, and Zoom are all great ideas too to get a group of people together. I’ve seen people host theme nights (costume party, crazy hat party, etc.) and invite their friends to a Zoom gathering. Finally, there are so many game apps that you can use to “challenge” your family and friends. Right now, my sister and I have been playing on the Yahtzee with Buddies app. You take turns just like a real game of Yahtzee, and it helps us stay connected. I usually win, but she would tell you otherwise.

5. Organize: I know, cleaning is rarely on the top of my list when boredom starts to set in. More than just cleaning, organizing feels really good. It gives instant gratification because you can see your hard work right in front of you. This could be something somewhat simple, like organizing your kitchen cupboards, or something a little more time consuming, like organizing your garage.

6. Go on a drive: Sometimes the key to beating cabin fever is to simply leave the cabin. Our options are still limited as to where we can go, but that does not mean we can’t hop in the car and do some exploring. Take a drive around town and explore neighborhoods you have not seen before. Do a scavenger hunt. I know different towns have different scavenger hunt themes going on. In Spencer, people have placed rainbows in the windows to search for, or bears to go on a “bear hunt.” Engage in this, even as an adult! If your town hasn’t started these activities or you want a different idea, drive around and just notice. Notice spring colors coming in. Notice wildlife. Notice the peace.

7. Go on a virtual tour: This is perhaps my favorite idea! SO many museums and zoos have opted to have a virtual tour option in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. These are experiences we may not otherwise have. The Denver Zoo and the Cincinnati Zoo both have done a great job creating virtual encounters on their Facebook pages. It’s fun to see those wild animals up close and personal and learn some things while you’re at it. The Metropolitan Museum of Art also offers a 3D tour of 26 different exhibits.

We know staying home is so important. We will continue to do so, but we know there are days the boredom really starts to set in. Let us know if you try any of these ideas or have some of your own! We’re all in this together.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

We love our families, our partners, and our children. Let’s just put that out there. However, we are not used to spending 24 hours a day and 7 days a week together, without being able to leave home (except for the occasional walk or bike ride). If you are working from home, that brings many new challenges we addressed in the last post. But if you are working from home AND your partner is working from home AND you have children in the home… phew, it’s a lot. Let’s talk strategies to make this more manageable.

1. Be open and honest: Communicate with your partner and family. Let them know what you need in order to be successful at work and successful as a caregiver. Encourage them to do the same, then decide together how everyone can function at their best.

2. Find time for yourself (even if it’s just a few minutes in a different room): As humans, we are built to be social creatures. That doesn’t mean we also don’t thrive on some time alone. Some of us need this more than others. Allow yourself to get some time alone and, along with that, encourage your partner and family members to get some alone time too. Need ideas for coping skills you can use during this alone time? Refer back to our past blog post!

3. Find time for togetherness: I know, you’re thinking to yourself, “we are ALWAYS together.” What I mean by this is to schedule in some fun time. Taco Tuesdays, Friday Night Movie Night, or Game Night Saturday all have a nice ring to it! Enjoy each other. You’re in it together. Time to create some positive memories in the midst of all the stress.

4. Create structure and routine: For all of us, adults and children alike, we function best on routine. Waking up should be the same time each day, and lights out the same time each night. Try to plan meals around the same time, too. Predictability lowers anxiety, and many of us are experiencing a heightened level of anxiety over the last couple of months. Children respond really well to visuals, too. Creating a visual picture board documenting the daily schedule (ex. 7:00- wake up, 7:30- breakfast, 8:00- free play time, etc.) helps guide the day and provides predictability.

5. Tag team: Now more than ever, you and your partner would greatly benefit from standing strong as a team. What does this mean in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic? Work days may need to be split for one parent to be “in charge” for any needs from the children. Household management may need to be equally split, and now’s a great time to teach the children responsibility around the house. They can see first-hand how much work goes into getting their clothes clean or dinner made. We can use this opportunity to teach our children, and ourselves, that the world works a whole lot better when we can work together.

No day will be perfect, and some days the only goal will be survival. You’re doing great.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Working from home brings its own set of advantages, but also so many challenges. For most of us, home is a place that is separated from work – both physically and mentally. We try to leave work at work, and focus on home at home. For many of us, the worlds have now collided with little to no notice for proper planning. How do we continue to be a productive worker during our designated hours, but then also allow ourselves to turn work off when the day is done? It’s easier said than done, but I’ve compiled a list of five tips to be productive when working from home.

1. Make a designated work space: This is perhaps one of the MOST important tips. We cannot expect ourselves to work without distraction if we are sitting on the couch with Netflix on, like we do on Saturday mornings. This doesn’t mean you have to invest money in a brand-new home office. We can work with what we have! Reposition your dining table, dust off your old desk, or even set up a TV tray somewhere quiet. Keep the distractions to a minimum in this space, and put out some things that will help you focus and want to be in the space. (For me, it’s my essential oil diffuser). Use this space for work only, and there we have it- a work space!

2. Set a schedule and stick to it: Designate a start time, lunch break, and end time for each day. Make these achievable (for example, don’t tell yourself you’ll start working at 7 a.m. if you aren’t an early bird). Hold yourself accountable to this – it’s for your own benefit! When 5 p.m. (or ending time) comes, it’s important to close that laptop, sign out of your email, and “log off” of work. Now it’s your time to care for yourself.

3. Stay connected: One major benefit of having a place of work is the social interactions. When we are working from home, the feelings of isolation can start to set in. Reach out to your manager and coworkers regularly. Still form that community, ask questions, and check in with one another. If you’re feeling a little isolated and needing to feel connected, odds are your fellow coworkers are too. Blogger tip: My supervisor organized a weekly “check- in” with our team. We visit via video chat. There are some agenda items we cover, but the rest of the time is used to just check in and process. I look forward to it each week!

4. Be organized: After the first week of working from home, I knew I needed to set my organization into high gear. I had sticky notes all over my desk and different lists in different notebooks. We get a lot of information from a lot of different people electronically when working from home. This puts us into overload (which tends to make us either work extra hard or not work at all due to overwhelmed feelings), which is not helpful. Have a central location to keep all of your “to-do’s.” A large monthly calendar has also been helpful for me to lay out the big picture/long-term goals, along with my short-term goals in a list. Being in an organized space also has the ability to make our minds feel more organized and calm. Win, win!

5. Give yourself grace (and a break): Working from home is not easy. Give yourself grace in knowing this. We are currently encouraged to be staying home, which is now where we live, work, eat, exercise, shop, sleep, etc. This is unprecedented for us! Some days will feel easier. Some days will feel hard. Both are OK. Get up, make yourself a cup of tea, and take a deep breath. You’re OK.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Greetings! I hope you have all found time to care for yourself this week. Boy, do we need it. The news continues to provide us with highs and lows, but it feels like the lows have been much more persistent. We are in unprecedented times within our nation. Now more than ever, it’s important for us to care for ourselves. We talk often about how we are caring for our children, our parents, our neighbors, and all our loved ones, but it’s time we focus on ourselves. Let’s talk self-care!

1. Fresh air: Step outside, take some deep breaths, and go on a walk. Look for small details – find the tallest tree, listen for birds chirping and try to get them in your sight, and stop and smell the roses (or lilacs, or lilies). Nature is healing.

2. Connect: Social distancing is rough, especially when it comes to distancing ourselves from our support system. Get out your favorite electronic device and connect with someone! Face-to-face is the next best thing, so give someone a Skype call!

3. Submerse yourself in a book or movie: Pick a comedy or easy-read fiction and dive right in. Reading or watching a movie gives us a chance to “escape” the stresses in life and get away in our minds. I recommend Emily Giffin – she’s a personal favorite author of mine! I’ve watched Bridemaids more than once during this pandemic. What’s your favorite comedy?

4. Take a “time out” from news and social media: I’m guilty of wanting to be “in the know” of all things COVID-19. Although this is OK sometimes, we all need a break. Give yourself a specific time period that you will not look at social media or the news, and abide by it! I turn it all off by 8 p.m.

5. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is all about being present; noticing where you are right now, in this moment, and not thinking about what happened yesterday, or worrying about what tomorrow might bring. Just focusing on the here and now. Luckily, there are apps that can be downloaded to help guide you into a mindful state of mind. You will notice your anxiety symptoms decrease after a few mindfulness activities. A couple of my favorite apps are Calm and Mindspace.

6. Play with a pet: If you read my introduction post, you know this coping skill is my go-to! It’s been scientifically proven that simply petting our animals causes our brains to calm. Give your pet a cuddle or play a game of fetch outside. Fresh air AND your pet – win, win!

7. Clean/organize: We are now spending every hour of our day at home, so now’s as good a time as any to get that garage cleaned up or closet cleaned out. It gets our minds on something else and gives us instant gratification. The feeling of seeing your hard work paying off – priceless.

8. Journal: We are in an unprecedented time. We have not experienced anything like this and will hopefully never again within our lifetime. Journaling holds two purposes: It allows us to really reflect on how our lives are affected, but it also provides us with a snapshot in time of our experience and resilience.

9. Craft/create: Let those creative juices flow and create a masterpiece! Art has a way of allowing us to express ourselves. Give yourself the opportunity to repaint that dresser or put your sewing skills to the test and sew some masks for your local healthcare providers. Try something new and be creative.

10. Laugh: Mayo Clinic shares that laughter fires up then cools down our stress response, giving us a relaxed and calm feeling. The after effects of a good dose of laughter are lower blood pressure, increased circulation, lower heart rate, and muscle relaxation. My family and I always turn to America’s Funniest Home Videos when a good laugh is needed. What’s your go-to for a good laugh?

It’s so important to care for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so what do you do for yourself to keep your cup full? Share your ideas with us by emailing April.Howe@LSIowa.org![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello again! I hope you are all healthy and doing OK, taking it one moment at a time. “Social distancing” is a term we have become too familiar with over the last couple of months. We all understand the purpose – to keep ourselves and others safe – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come with its own hardships. Whether you live on your own or you have a house full of people, loneliness is a very real feeling during this time. Human beings are social creatures. We are accustomed to being able to visit our families whenever we want, plan a dinner out with friends, or simply go to the store/gym/salon/library at the drop of a dime. Loneliness hits all of us at one time or another. Here are some ideas to help combat these feelings.

1. Accept feeling lonely is OK (and warranted!): Allow yourself to feel and reflect on why this feeling is happening. What/who is it that you are missing? Journal about it. We are in unprecedented times that none of us have lived through before. Don’t push these feelings away. Notice your feeling as it is, understand it, and then use some strategies to make the feeling a little less strong.

2. Connect. Connect. Connect.: Perhaps one of the greatest blessings we have during this pandemic is our technology. We can use our phones, tablets, and computers to reach someone in seconds. Reach out to three people a day. Reach out to your childhood friend via Facebook Messenger, reach out to a neighbor via phone call, or reach out to a family member via video chat. Three connections a day (at minimum!) will help to feel the support around us, even if it’s from afar. Odds are that they are in need of connection just as much as you are. My mom, sister, and I have all downloaded the app “Houseparty” on our phones. We get to video chat and there are options of games to play together. Laughter helps!

3. Thirty minutes of connection: We are busy. Taking care of tasks around the house (does anyone else’s washing machine seem to always be going?), taking care of children and loved ones, working from home, reading the news… all of this takes time. Thirty minutes of our day (again, at the minimum) should be reserved for connections. Make a plan to call your mom each night at 7 p.m., plan to sit with your partner and talk, or plan to FaceTime with a friend. Schedule the time for connection. You deserve it, and you need it.

4. Common ground with common interests: With social media as advanced as it is, you can search and find a group of people with like-minded interests in no time. Do a search, join a group, engage in posts, and make some connections! It feels good (and calming) to talk about topics that interest us.

5. Seek professional support: If the feelings of loneliness become too strong or start to greatly impact your day-to-day life, reach out and get connected with a therapist. Therapists across the state have moved to telehealth options, so you can receive therapy services without leaving the comfort and safety of your home. We are here, ready to support you! You can visit LSIowa.org/therapy to get started.

How are you managing your loneliness? Let us know what has worked for you by sharing your ideas with April.Howe@LSIowa.org. Stay healthy and stay safe. We are all on this journey together![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]