Category: CAPP Blog

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello! Did you know June 8 is National Best Friend’s Day? I love how there are holidays to celebrate just about everything. A day to celebrate friendship though? That is totally valid.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”26106″ img_size=”medium”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”3/4″][vc_column_text]Today, we are going to dive into the world of friendship and discuss what qualities truly make a solid and long-lasting friendship. As we go into those specific traits, I know just the person I can reference who has all these qualities (and more). Let me introduce you to my best friend, Jaime!

Where can I start about what makes this girl the picture perfect best friend? We’ve been best friends for about 15 years now. We were great friends in middle and high school, then decided to be roommates our first and second year at the University of Northern Iowa. That’s where it was determined there wasn’t an Anne without Jaime or a Jaime without Anne. Jaime got married along the way, which added her husband into our group of “the three best friends that anyone could have.” Now, she has two of the sweetest children, and it’s been a joy to watch her grow into an amazing mother and wife. We have lived through life’s sweetest moments and life’s toughest moments and have reliably been by each other’s side. Her family is my second family, and I am forever grateful for our friendship. She’s hilarious, selfless, loyal, and has a heart of gold. She’s taught me a lot about friendship, so let’s dive into what makes a solid friendship last.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text padding_setting=”1″ ipad_padding=”sm-padding-one”]1. Honesty – We all have that acquaintance that can be too honest. The best friendships have a great balance between honesty and respect.

2. Loyalty – You never want to question if your friend has your back. It should just be a given! Even when you don’t agree with something your friend does or says, stay true to the friendship and have a conversation about it. Loyalty goes a long way.

3. Non-Judgment – No one is perfect. When we make mistakes, a good friend is there to support us without judgment. When it comes to friendship, it’s so comforting to know you won’t be judged.

4. Dependability – This one is easy. Show up when you say you’re going to, and be a constant support. We are all busy, but make your friendship a priority.

5. Support – Whether it’s a cup of coffee, a laugh, or a shoulder to cry on, friendship is all about support.

6. Humor – What’s better than laughter with the people you care about the most? On a personal note, no one makes me laugh harder than Jaime. It’s joy at its finest.

When it comes down to it, friendship is one of the most important parts of life. I truly hope each of you have a “Jaime.” What qualities are the most important to you in a friendship? Take some time today to reach out and check in with a friend![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hi, everyone! How are we already landing in June? Time flies. Did anyone else find themselves just simply acting on survival techniques over the last several months while we handled the COVID-19 pandemic? As gyms closed, groceries were ordered online, spas and libraries were closed, and we were encouraged to just stay home, I found myself falling back on some bad habits and old ways. The motivation to start a new challenge just was not there as we were in the midst of a difficult time. Here we are, several months later, and we have the opportunity to start fresh and really dive into these new challenges.

It feels almost like a New Year’s Resolution, but different. According to research, only 8% of people keep their New Year’s resolutions past a month. This unique time we are in now gives us the opportunity to reflect on the last several months of our life to determine what is important to us. We are able to experience this self-reflection in the most organic way possible. We had no choice but to halt life in a lot of ways. What did you miss the most during this time? What did you discover is important to you? What do you want your life to look like moving forward?

A coworker shared with me that her “COVID habit” that she is going to work on quitting is eating so many frozen pizzas! What COVID habit might you break? Maybe you’ll reduce online shopping, get some more steps in, get some more sleep, or eat some fruits and vegetables. Whatever it is, make it attainable and beneficial to you.

The most important part of taking on a new challenge or kicking a bad habit is to be realistic and allow yourself to make mistakes. We are humans, and we are not perfect. Acknowledge and celebrate any success, and forgive any mistakes. You can do this![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello! How have you been doing? We continue to ride this rollercoaster of a pandemic, where you catch negative and positive reports on the news daily. We know things are hard right now but today, we are focusing on the good. If anything, the last several months have allowed us to have some serious self-reflection. We’ve been able to reflect on what things are unnecessary and do not bring us joy. It really has been an opportunity for us to determine what is most important in the most organic way.

A wise friend said to me recently, “Now that the moments are back, how are you going to make them count?” Think about that a little bit. So many things were no longer an option – weddings, funerals, school, birthday parties, vacations, family gatherings, concerts, events, religious gatherings, etc. Some of these are now options for us once again, so how will we make them count? Will we cherish them a little more? Will we recognize the importance of being in the moment? Here’s the good news – it’s up to you. You get to choose how you now will make these moments count.

As I reflect back on the last several months, I am able to see some personal improvements. I have more patience and understanding that things take time. I am more aware of my surroundings. I make sure the people around me and myself are safe. I have a stronger sense of community and compassion within my community. I support small businesses and my neighbors. I have the most gratitude for our healthcare and frontline workers, truly knowing they put their lives on the line for us. What about you? Are you noticing improvements in your ways of thinking?

Finally, I want to bring attention to some of the positive and heartwarming aspects of this challenging time. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’m a huge animal lover. I came across this Instagram page (@dogsworkingfromhome) and it’s hysterical. Our animals are so happy right now, and if you browse that page, you’ll see! On a more serious note, the canals in Venice are clearer than they’ve been in decades. Teachers and celebrities are reading children’s stories virtually so children can continue to learn. Neighborhoods across the world played music from their balconies to create collective music. Small towns in Iowa have created window scavenger hunts to create happiness for families. Finally, perhaps one of the most important positives, we have learned about ourselves. We have learned how to slow down. We have learned what is important to us. We have learned how to care for each other (and ourselves) in a whole new way.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hi, everyone! Anxiety is around us all the time. Some of us experience anxiety more than others, but anxiety is a stranger to no one. Today, I’m offering one of my favorite ways to tackle anxious feelings, and that is through mindfulness. Mindfulness is a technique that goes back many, many years. The goal of mindfulness is to focus on the calm of the here and now; not worrying about what happened last week, and not thinking about what may happen tomorrow. This resource below is a guided imagery mindfulness activity. This particular resource was produced at the Trauma Center in Massachusetts. Read along and practice being mindful.

Imagine going to a place, real or invented, where you feel safe, peaceful, and calm. You want to take the time to develop the imagery so you fully experience this place with all your senses. Start out with a simple check-in of your emotional state, your thoughts, and what you are feeling in your body. Just notice what’s happening, without judgment or expectation.

Let your breath deepen, and locate a spot in your body where you are starting to feel an opening, a lightness, or a loosening. Allow that to expand with every in-breath and every out-breath, imagining it gradually filling up your entire body. Imagine this relaxing energy moving through your body in waves, reaching every part of you.

Imagine you are at the sea shore on a beautiful day. It’s the perfect time of day, and the perfect time of year for you to be there. Recall the feeling you get in your body when you are at the beach, or what it was like when you were there as a child. Let yourself explore that feeling. Imagine the warmth of the sun on the top of your head and your shoulders. Allow this image to develop.

Perhaps there’s a pleasant breeze, which you feel on your face and arms. Imagine the refreshing, salty breeze off the water, and breathe. Maybe you can even taste the salt spray. Look up and down the beach and notice the expanse of sand, the color and texture of it, the way it sparkles in the sunlight. Imagine that you are standing in the dry, soft, sand, and feel it beneath your feet and between your toes.

Imagine taking a few steps, and feeling what it’s like to walk in deep, warm, soft sand. Move closer to the water and walk in the cool, firm sand. Feel it take on the shape of your feet as you walk. Look behind you and see your footprints. Notice the waves gently rolling in and lapping the shore, gradually smoothing those footprints out, rhythmically washing them away as the waves roll back out.

Look at the edge of the water and notice the color. Notice that color meeting the sand, and the waves gently lapping on the shore, rolling in, breaking softly, and going back out, over and over, endlessly. Hear the, deep, calming, rhythmic sound of the waves breaking on the beach.

Look out to the horizon, and notice the waves as far back as you can see, rolling toward the shore, breaking, glittering in the sunlight. Notice the dancing light moving rhythmically across the whole surface of the water. Notice the place where the surf meets the sky, and see where the colors come together. Notice the light. Let yourself feel the expanse of the sky, and imagine breathing that in, filling yourself with that feeling of spaciousness, brightness, and light.

If you like, you might imagine going into the water, and feeling gently carried on the waves, safe in the protected cove, warmed by the sun. Just rolling gently on the surf, carried safely on the buoyant waves.

When you come out of the water, find the clean, dry, soft towel you have placed there. Imagine lying down on the towel, feeling the warm sand beneath mold itself to your body. Notice how the warm, firm surface supports your whole body, and allow yourself to relax deeply into it, letting the warmth and comfort fill your body and mind.

When you have finished your guided meditation, take a few minutes to sit quietly, noticing what you are experiencing in your body, what your thoughts and emotions are like.

What was that like for you? If you found it calming and relaxing, there are so many options out there to practice mindfulness and decrease anxiety. I recommend the apps Headspace and Calm, or do a quick Google search for “guided imagery mindfulness activity.” The options are endless and nothing beats the calm, peaceful feeling that comes from mindfulness.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello there! Thanks for finding your way to our blog. Today, we are talking self-motivation. I love this quote from Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” It’s true, right? We want to live our lives to their greatest potential. However, you’re not alone if sometimes it just feels tough to get motivated. Whether it’s to mow the lawn, tackle a big project, or go for a walk, let’s talk motivation tips.

1. Set big goals: Here’s where it always starts for us, right? We get a big image of whatever it is we hope to achieve. For some, it’s to save a large amount of money, it’s to run a half marathon, or it’s that promotion you’ve been chasing. It’s great to have goals. It gives us something to work towards! So identify what your goal is and jot it down somewhere. First step – check!

2. Set small goals: Now that the big goal has been set, set some small and achievable goals for yourself. If your goal is to put a down payment on a new home, set small goals of saving a certain amount of money each paycheck. If your goal is to run a half marathon, make a goal of gradually increasing your run lengths. The most important part of small goals is to keep them achievable.

3. Accountability: This one is key for me. Make your goals and intentions known to others! Let your close family and friends know about your intent to reach your goals. This serves two purposes. Number one, you get some support and number two, you will be held accountable. It feels good to be able to share successes (both big and small) with loved ones.

4. Be kind to yourself: We all have slip-ups. We are human after all! So pay attention to the self talk you are giving yourself and make sure there are more positive messages being sent to yourself than negative. We are our own greatest critic at times but with the power we hold to change our thoughts, we can also be our greatest cheerleader.

5. Acknowledge and reward progress: When we meet those small or big goals, or even just stay on track, it’s so important we acknowledge that for ourselves. Did you know the greatest key to self-motivation is by recognizing the progress that has been made? Find rewards that work for you. Tell yourself how proud you are!

6. Chase your why: It all comes down to this. Why is this goal important to you? Chase that why to really narrow it down. What’s the underlying reason the goal is so important? Is it to feel better about yourself? Is it to achieve something new? It is to learn a new skill? Is it to show yourself you can do it? Whatever it is, it’s at the core of your goal and will drive you to success.

We would love to hear from you. What are your goals? How are you staying motivated? Send your ideas to April.Howe@LSIowa.org. Until next time![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hello and welcome back! Here we are, still managing the difficulties that come along with COVID-19. We have talked for several weeks now about how it is impacting us, our partners, and our families. But what about your children? This pandemic has impacted the younger generations in more ways than one – the last several months of school cancelled, high school graduations gone virtual, and social gatherings no longer an option. As adults, we are able to make sense of it all (to the best of our abilities), but how can we help children to understand what is going on, without making it seem really, really scary?

1. Utilize stories/videos: Bless all of the creative folks in the world who have created such important resources for our kiddos. Two of my favorites are Sesame Street Town Hall on Coronavirus and Coronavirus: A Book for Children. Here’s the link to the FREE children’s book. It’s illustrated by Axel Scheffler, who also illustrated The Gruffalo series. It’s geared towards ages 5 – 9 and does a great job explaining aspects of COVID-19 in a kid-friendly light.

2. Encourage and allow open conversations: This is key! We want our children to feel completely comfortable coming to us with any questions or concerns. This is unchartered territory for them, too. Check in with each child throughout the day to see what thoughts are swimming through their head. Therapist tip: Instead of “How are you doing?” say “Tell me what this is like for you.” It opens up the conversation! Be honest with them while staying kid-friendly, and always tie in words of encouragement (ex. “We are all in this together.” “I am here for you.” “I am proud of the choices you’ve been making.”)

3. Expect different behaviors as they process and adjust to new norm: As adults, when we feel stressed, we may be more easily agitated, more tired, or more emotional. The same is true for children! Don’t be surprised if you notice a behavior change during this time. Offer support and encourage appropriate coping skills.

4. Model an appropriate response: It’s true. Children learn a lot of their behaviors from their parents. This means if you are encouraging them to wash their hands well, show them that you wash your hands well. If you want them to talk about their feelings, then talk about your feelings! It’s also important to tie in positives throughout each day. This will help them learn skills to be able to find a silver lining in the midst of really hard times.

5. Set up virtual playdates: Perhaps what feels the hardest to children during this time is being unable to see their friends and do their sports/activities. This is where you can step in! Set up some virtual playdates. This would be a great time to even set up “themed” playdates. You can get so creative with this and the joy on your child’s face will show you it’s all worth it.

6. Validate, validate, validate: Let’s be real. Being in the midst of a worldwide pandemic feels hard. If your child is having big feelings because they are missing a sports season, birthday parties, or time with their teacher, validate that. A simple “I hear you, and I’m sorry this is happening. I understand why you are upset” can feel really reassuring.

As mentioned in previous blogs, we are here for you. If you or your children are needing additional support during this difficult time, please reach out to us at LSI. Our clinical team is ready to support you via telehealth so you can stay in the safety and comfort of your own home. Hang in there, everyone. We are thinking of you![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hi everyone! I hope you are all staying healthy and doing your best to take care of yourself during this trying time. Working from home (or WFH) has become a new normal for many of us. See our past blog post on tips to be productive when working from home and today, we are going to tackle how we can be effective at working from home when we are now surrounded by new “coworkers,” who have been promoted from their last gig of partner, spouse, or roommate. Let’s face it, working from home independently is hard. But when there’s more than one businessperson working at the same time, we could definitely use some tips.

1. Designate space: This is critical to managing multiple workers within a common space. Set up designated work spaces separated by a wall, separator, etc. This is important to decrease distractibility that will likely occur as you work next to your partner, and will hopefully increase productivity.

2. Timing: Set a designated “work time” and “home time” and abide by it. We are all wearing many different caps right now, so the line has to be clear of when the work cap comes off. Decide together what works best for your household. For some, working the same hours will work best. For others, child care is a factor and you may need to stagger work hours. If you’re a visual person like I am, lay it out on a white board or piece of paper. That way, everyone in the household knows when it’s “work time” and when “home time” can begin. This is especially important if you have an important work call coming up or even a virtual social event with friends. Encourage your partner or roommate to pencil in when they need claim on alone time, and you do the same.

3. Teamwork: Now more than ever, we need to think of our households as our team. In many of our communities, it is still recommended that our household members are really the only individuals we come in close proximity to. With that being said, make a commitment to yourself and your family that you will support their needs, and that you will make your needs known to them as well. It could be silly, but come up with a team name for the family and use it (probably with laughter to follow) when it seems like the team morale is low. The “Happy Hand-washing Hansons” or “Deliberately Distancing Dixons” have pretty good rings to it.

4. Offer grace (to yourself and others): Let’s face it, mistakes are still going to happen and conflict will still arise, just as it always has. Since we are really working to think of our household as a team, remind yourself that when mistakes happen, it can likely be due to the level of stress we are all encountering right now. Use these experiences to problem solve how to make it better in the future. Like I’ve said in many blogs before, I truly believe we are doing the best we can with what we’ve got. Use those I statements (“I feel _____ when _______ because ______. What I need is ______.”) I statements feel less threatening and are a great way to appropriately communicate when you feel conflict arising.

There you have it! I hope some of these ideas will be helpful as you continue to explore the world of WFH with your partners/roommates/spouses. It’s unchartered waters, so find what works for you and your household. We are doing the best we can. We’re all in this together![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! This blog serves as an ode to all moms – biological, foster, adoptive, fur baby, grieving, in-law, step, and anyone else who serves a mom role in one way or another. Thank you for what you do. Every. Single. Day. We are thinking of you as you try to juggle all the responsibilities that come along with being a mom during this stressful time. Let’s talk today about how we can support you and how you can support yourself when you are juggling work, parenting, and a worldwide pandemic (No wonder you are tired, right?).

Take a time out: For some, this pandemic has taken away the option of daycare, babysitters, and dropping the kids off with grandparents for some much-needed recharge. It’s OK to feel like you need a time out yourself. Sometimes, we have to put it in survival mode and do what we can. This is a mental health professional telling you it’s OK to put on a kid-friendly movie so you can get some much-needed “me time!” My recommendation: Disney/Pixar’s Onward. It’s such a good movie and I love the message it sends.

Do something for you: If I were to ask you right now who you have done something for today, I wonder if you would have yet made that list. Carve some time out today to really do something for you. If you’re caring for children in your home, use nap time, movie time, or quiet play time to do something for yourself. Maybe it’s simply to sit, get a cup of tea, and breathe. Maybe it’s to call a friend and catch up. Maybe it’s to run a bubble bath. Whatever works for you – you deserve it.

Ask for help: If you have others in your household, whether it’s a partner, roommate, family member, or children, ask for help. You’re wearing at least seven responsibility caps right now. It would be completely appropriate to ask for a little help. This is a great time to teach children how much goes into running a household! It may be eye opening for them to see the laundry actually does not wash itself.

Offer yourself grace: No one was prepared to deal with a worldwide pandemic. There’s no right way to do it. If you’re noticing your home is a little messier or dishes take a little longer to be cleaned, it’s OK. You are doing what you can with what you have in a situation that is unprecedented. Notice that you have kept your family safe and have handled some really hard things together. That can be enough!

Thank you, moms, for all you do. We are lucky to have you. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by everything going on, please reach out to LSI and our clinical staff. We are ready and willing to see you via telehealth for therapy, and you can stay in the comfort of your own home.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”padding-one”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]By Anne Peters, LMFT

Hi, everyone! Welcome back. How cooped up are we feeling today? If you’ve got kids at home – THANK YOU. Thank you for keeping your children safe, thank you for balancing 15 plates of responsibility at once, and thank you for your caring heart. This blog is for you. You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got. Here are some fun (and easy) activities you can do with your children while you’re cooped up inside.

1. Scavenger hunt: You guys, this idea can be used over and over again. Kids love this activity. It ties in movement, (friendly) competition, and brain power. You could easily create (or Google) a scavenger hunt to be completed in your home, in the child’s bedroom, or outdoors. Here’s a link to a nature scavenger hunt that looks like a blast. It’s a color walk scavenger hunt, encouraging the child to find an item of each color and draw it while on the walk.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row padding_setting=”1″ desktop_padding=”no-padding”][vc_column width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”25978″ img_size=”large”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”3/4″][vc_column_text]2. Indoor laser maze: This sounds so fun! All you need is a hallway, some masking tape, and party streamers (or something similar). Challenge your kiddos to get through the “laser maze” by not touching any of the streamers. Again, this activity is full of movement and laughter. Here’s a photo that shows the general idea of the activity.

3. Drive-in movie: This sounds like a memory in the making! Here’s how it works: Grab some large boxes from some of those recent online orders (one for each child, big enough for them to sit in). Then, have the children decorate their boxes as cars. They can color, put on stickers, and use whatever extra arts and crafts items you have! Now it’s time to plan for a drive-in movie. Pick a family-friendly movie, and have them “park” their box cars in front of the TV. Make some fresh popcorn and create a memory! You could really win parent of the year if you created a box car for yourself… but the couch is fine! All of the kids will stay in their own personal space AND have a blast (win, win). Enjoy the movies!

4. Make cloud dough: I vividly remember the joy I would feel when my mom would say we could make homemade play-doh, oobleck, or anything of the sort. Here’s another super easy idea to try – cloud dough! Here’s the recipe: 8 cups of flour and 1 cup of baby oil. That’s it! Mix it up, and it creates this super soft but still buildable consistency. It smells great, too! Add in some little plastic toys or small shovels/pails. Keep it in a tightly sealed container and it will last for a while, too.

There you have it! Four activities that can keep on giving. You’re doing great, parents. Deep breaths.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]